


(was there) something i could've said?

by blank823



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Post-Episode: s07e12 Victory and Death, ahsoka feels very sad, i wrote this in 20 min after rewatching s07e09, idk how to tag, inspired by Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi, spoilers for s7 of tcw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24231442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blank823/pseuds/blank823
Summary: Ahsoka thinks about her last conversation with Anakin. Could she have said something else?
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	(was there) something i could've said?

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic on Ao3! i would DIE for these two 🥺 season 7 of TCW broke me

_“So, before you go,_

_Was there something I could’ve said to make your heart beat better?_

_If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather.”_

_**Before You Go** , Lewis Capaldi_

****

**———**

Ahsoka stared out the viewport at the whirling blue of hyperspace. The Force was quiet, unnervingly so, and had been ever since Order 66. She couldn’t feel anyone and it hurt - for as long as she could remember, she had been surrounded by her fellow Jedi, and now they were just... _gone_. She couldn’t feel Master Obi-Wan, or Master Plo, or Master Yoda. She couldn’t feel the thousands of bright force-signatures that had been a staple of her life. They’d all cried out at the same time and then fallen silent, as if muffled by a gag. 

She couldn’t even feel _Anakin_. Her master, her best friend, her brother. He had taught her everything she needed to know to survive, had always believed in her. He was powerful, strong, having rarely lost a battle in all the years she’d fought with him. He was kind, always believing in those he trusted, never once turning against them without a reason to. He was the best person she’d ever known, and she couldn’t believe he was gone.

She had held out hope for a few weeks after Order 66, sending messages down their bond every so often. 

__

_Anakin, are you all right?_

__

__

_What happened?_

__

_Are you alive?_

__

_Are you safe?_

__

_Anakin?_

__

_Please - if you can hear me, please respond._

She never got any response. The other side of their bond remained silent and dark, and she eventually stopped trying. If he were still alive he would have tried to contact her, or at least sent something back through their bond. Instead it felt like her messages were being thrown into the vacuum of space, never to be heard. 

Ahsoka eventually had to face the truth: Anakin Skywalker had joined the thousands of other Jedi who had had their clone troops - their _friends_ \- betray them and cut them down. He had joined the Force, and she hoped that he was happy there. 

Force, when she had last seen Anakin she acted so coldly toward him, treating him the same way she would have treated the Council. If she had known that would be the last time she ever saw him, that he would later march to his death, would she have said something different?

__

_Ahsoka, I am so glad-_

__

_We’ll have to catch up another time. Things are moving quickly._

__

_Anakin! Good luck._

She sighed, swiping away the tears falling down her cheeks. At the time she had been rushing to Mandalore, telling herself there’d be time to talk to Anakin when the war was over. She knew he was excited to see her - and she was happy to see him too - but she had brushed him off and she knew it hurt him. There were so many opportunities for her to say something, _anything_ , to let him know how much he means to her, but she never took any of them, more preoccupied by battle. 

He had waited for her, cared for her so much, even going so far as to turn her lightsabers blue - he must have meditated with them for _weeks_. She knew how much he missed her and still she treated him like a stranger. 

She kept pushing their reunion further back, because there’d be time after the war, supposedly. Except the end of the Clone Wars had come with the rise of the Empire and the end of the Republic and the Jedi. If only she had known there was a storm brewing - she would have stopped and _talked_ to him, told him everything that had happened since she had left the Order.

But she didn’t, and she never got to hug him one last time. She never got to thank him for always believing in her and for everything he had taught her. She never got to tell him about her adventure on Oba Diah, or about how his teachings had helped her survive even off the battlefield. She never got to tell him how grateful she was for taking her on as his Padawan all those years ago on Christophsis, for always being on her side no matter what. 

Ahsoka never got to tell Anakin how much she loved him, and now she’ll never get to.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this! leave a comment and tell me what you thought!


End file.
